No, it doesn't, I only got THESE moments again, even it has nothing to do with myself. But still... It's such a horrible feeling to know that persons who do you love, no matter what, because they gave you life, it's horrible feeling to hear them scream at each other, it's horrible to know that inside each of them is hate and pain. And their pain is also our pain. We're connected and I'll never have a happy memories for my childhood, or teenage years.
My memories will be dark, only with few light moments. All I could see would be my dark room, posters and screen, all I could hear would be music I love and scream and all I could feel would be pain and tears.
And all of these depressive, psycho thoughts would be only in my head, screaming at me to infinity. And that's everything what I've got. And the true is that I don't even try to change this. It's horrible to know that I'd rather feel like this than be happy and pretend there's nothing I should care of. I think that I don't even want to be like that. I can't pretend.
And it's there again... nothing. I feel nothing.
I don't feel sad anymore. But I don't feel happy.
During writing this it stopped. That scream stopped, for a while. That scream what hear everybody. But not that scream inside of me, it's neverending. But I can live with it.
I know that everything I write probably has no sense. But what article frome has some sense, right? I'll rather stop writing, I already write some shitty stuff. I'll leave you again with some song, to skip that awkward silence.
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