Gone.

I was gone for a long time.
I know.

I have no internet, at first. It's really hard for me, because people over the internet keeps me alive. They understand and they don't laugh at me, while I'm talking to them about my problems. So I always miss them. But it's holidays, so I'm staying at grandma's house. And... I even didn't know if I should continue to write those depressive arcticles. I started to write a diary instead. But it didn't last long. Of course nothing changed. Everything's still the same. I'm the same. Or maybe just a little more emotional and sensitive. I feel so nervous recently. I think that when someone tells me something personal, I just start to cry and die.
I have no idea why I feel this way. Well, it's better though. I mean my problems. But I'm not okay. Sometimes I think I need a help. But I don't want to be annoying.

I'm still really confused by myself. I'm depressed, I'm really depressed, but I can hide it. Like a proffesional. And I still lie to myself, it's just an illusion, to make myself feel better for a while. But when I'm alone just with my thoughts, it always ends like that, that I'm sad.

I seriously don't know why I wrote this shit there. I just wanted to do it.
Yes. I'm still alive.