Never good enough.

Just the typical article before I go to sleep.

I'm just wondering how people just get to "good enough", you know? What the hell is even that? "Good enough". Good enough for what? For being in this fucking terrible society? It makes me so mad that there's so many people, just like me who wants to fit somewhere, where they can to be themselves. And not being ashamed for that. For that they're a little fat, or has different music taste than you and so on. What's the matter? Why the fuck people just push out those kids? I mean, what did we do to you? We're different, we don't need to listen dance music like each one of you, we like to read, we like to play video games, we like to watch series, we like to be different.

Why should we pay for that? It's stupid. I feel so ashamed for living there.I hate that fact that I just can't be like you. I can't do that to other people. I can't just throw my problems away and party all the time. I can't be mean or rude like you. People like that should think about themselves. I can't say if someone is "good enough".

Not, because I'll never be good enough. I'll never be that funny, skinny girl with the perfect boyfriend and perfect life. I'll never be popular or some shit like that. I'll never enjoy your parties. And that what makes people around me hate me, probably. That I don't want to be one of them.

And it hurts, because those people used to be my friends. It hurts, because I grew up with them. But now I'm just that not-important weird girl, you don't even have to say "hi" to her, because she's fucking awkward. I don't even know if I should be pissed off, or sad. Probably both. Because those people can't do anything else than making a hell from your life.

They'll send you anonymous messages about how stupid you are and how they want to beat you up. They'll laugh at your photos. They'll laugh at things you created and worked hard on it. They'll laugh at that you want to be something more. They'll say bad things about you, so people you never met will know you as "asocial lesbian, who thinks she's so badass and beautiful" or something like that.

Only because of that how do you look or what do you like. I just can't take it no more. They even don't know a single shit about me. They don't know what it's like to be me. I'd wish each one of them to live a one day in my life. I want them to feel that pain, that suffering, I want to see them solving my problems. I want to see them how they'll eat, when they'd be fat like I am. I want to see them laugh, when your family is broken. I want to see them going outside, when they had to take a care about people they love at home.Try to be like me, try to be like us and then fucking speak.

btw. sorry for all the mistakes in the text, English isn't my born language and I'm too tired to write it correctly.